i just read my last post, it was written during math class... laconic moments during math class. it was just 4 months ago but it seems seasons away. I'm working now, i have new responsibilities, new friends..( read colleagues ) i have a career.
it's funny how things shift so fast changing faster than we expect and always leaving behind with it a bag full of memories along with a tearful farewell.
but this isn't about what's lost for it never will be , it will now just co exist with something new , something unknown , something exciting..... a new beginning.
i met my friends from college today and each of us was bursting with news from our respective offices.. the cute guys, the ones without any brains , the popular ones , what we love what we hate, but, at the end of the day we just smiled and echoed the same sentiment that was flowing through each of us... we missed each other but each one of us had moved on, moved on to a new place and no we weren't going to look back but, we weren't going to forget either, life had nudged us to a new place and each one of us was ready to face it all with conviction and confidence and with the hope that we would always remain friends.....
so here's to a new beginning to all of us. we deserve the best and that's what we are going to get.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
laconic moments
i was bored at 8.30 in the morning during my first hour of math the other day when suddenly i decided to try my hand at poetry.... so this is an amateurish attempt at publishing a poem written during the first hour of math.
i sit by the window and sigh,
the world goes by without an eye,
love conquers all,
i'm told;
but where is the love?
it seems unknown.
every person is alive i know,
but within them there lie,
a hole, one that can be filled
with only love i'm told,
yet all of them seem ready to run alone.
i wait and wait,
wait as i sit by the window,
looking out into the world
so as to fill my heart with love galore,
yet it goes by without even a sigh....
and then,
suddenly there is a chill,
a clod wind blows by
whispering as it flows a name....
soft but distinct i hear it
i hear a voice breath my name
and i know ...
a tear escapes my eye for i know
i know that now i'll never have
to sit by the window and sigh.
i sit by the window and sigh,
the world goes by without an eye,
love conquers all,
i'm told;
but where is the love?
it seems unknown.
every person is alive i know,
but within them there lie,
a hole, one that can be filled
with only love i'm told,
yet all of them seem ready to run alone.
i wait and wait,
wait as i sit by the window,
looking out into the world
so as to fill my heart with love galore,
yet it goes by without even a sigh....
and then,
suddenly there is a chill,
a clod wind blows by
whispering as it flows a name....
soft but distinct i hear it
i hear a voice breath my name
and i know ...
a tear escapes my eye for i know
i know that now i'll never have
to sit by the window and sigh.
ek pyali chai
rushed mornings...cursing buses nick of time entries quiet giggling , bursts of lod guffaws classroom antics will hold no more,
lazy lunches behind the benches over gossip sometimes serious isn't seen anymore.
and heartfelt talks about the future and past as we mull over the present, successes failures like two sides of the same con will now be uttered by these lips never again with friends over ek pyali chai.
lonliness will creep in again as we march forth toward a new sequence of mornings,
evenings and nights....with different people in different ways, yet....
i'll miss them always, those who made the last few years bearable and sometimes unbearable.....
but they were around laughing, back slapping , consoling , scolding over that pyali of chai....
lazy lunches behind the benches over gossip sometimes serious isn't seen anymore.
and heartfelt talks about the future and past as we mull over the present, successes failures like two sides of the same con will now be uttered by these lips never again with friends over ek pyali chai.
lonliness will creep in again as we march forth toward a new sequence of mornings,
evenings and nights....with different people in different ways, yet....
i'll miss them always, those who made the last few years bearable and sometimes unbearable.....
but they were around laughing, back slapping , consoling , scolding over that pyali of chai....
Friday, December 14, 2007
love's labour lost
just as the chill of the weather is setting in... a chill it seems to me is creeping into the hearts of many a person. every day i hear of anew break up, of an old promise broken and a new promise forgotten. cheating coupled with hatred seem to flavour this season of joy , love and compassion. and in the midst of it all.... i try and figure out what's behind all of this.
after several discussions with my rather analytical and philosophical friends i have come to the conclusion that man's most basic (yet acidic) of emotion from which stems his every action and emotion is the culprit. " LOVE " . love i've heard makes the world go round. love i've heard makes the desert feel like an ocean and thorns feel like roses and if history is to be believed indeed it has resulted in some of the fiercest of battles. and yet man remains it's slave..... am i a cynic? not at all i am but a realist. just as love makes one blind it also makes the blind stumble.... so, i would just like to say that instead of looking for romance every where and there by spreading un happiness jut "love" the world for what it is and learn to enjoy the season for all it's wonderful gifts.
after several discussions with my rather analytical and philosophical friends i have come to the conclusion that man's most basic (yet acidic) of emotion from which stems his every action and emotion is the culprit. " LOVE " . love i've heard makes the world go round. love i've heard makes the desert feel like an ocean and thorns feel like roses and if history is to be believed indeed it has resulted in some of the fiercest of battles. and yet man remains it's slave..... am i a cynic? not at all i am but a realist. just as love makes one blind it also makes the blind stumble.... so, i would just like to say that instead of looking for romance every where and there by spreading un happiness jut "love" the world for what it is and learn to enjoy the season for all it's wonderful gifts.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
new beginnings
I just got back from my trip to Goa and it is but natural that I post something with respect to the trip. But, I’m not here to talk about the exteriority of the trip… by which I mean I’m not going to really elaborate on the beauty of Goa or the bloody cheap goods there or even our 23 hour journey (just one way).
I want to talk about the new beginnings at Goa. It was a trip that opened my eyes to many things I had previously been un aware about. Whether it was friendship found in the most unlikely quarters or trying alcohol for the first time. So… let’s start at the very beginning. The trip started out as any other college trip would. Girls were excited ….. some because they were going to Goa some because the were getting out of Bangalore and some others I think only because the others were so excited.
In Goa as we began our journey to discover this wild and fantastic place I came across qualities I never knew my friends had let alone my other classmates. A strong sense of belonging one that I had yet to come across overwhelmed me every time I saw my friends stick up for each other , whether that friend was sick or sad. Loyalties peaked when the snake questioned the integrity of one of my friend’s actions. Wow…. If Gandhi had seen our non cooperation movement he would have been proud indeed. But the best part of the night was celebrating with breezers (my first time and I’m not hesitant to say this but I actually enjoyed them).
The surprise party for achala was a success. She had absolutely no clue. But the highlight of that night was watching a couple of my friends completely sloshed. The truth does come out at the most unexpected turns. That night as I watched my friend whom I had always considered perfect cry silently when some one mentioned some thing ( it’s too personal to disclose ) I realized that the outer façade is indeed deceptive in most cases. And also that it’s not just my life that’s screwed up big time.
All in all it was a fantastic experience. Not only because of the place but because of all that I learnt and saw and learnt to see.
I want to talk about the new beginnings at Goa. It was a trip that opened my eyes to many things I had previously been un aware about. Whether it was friendship found in the most unlikely quarters or trying alcohol for the first time. So… let’s start at the very beginning. The trip started out as any other college trip would. Girls were excited ….. some because they were going to Goa some because the were getting out of Bangalore and some others I think only because the others were so excited.
In Goa as we began our journey to discover this wild and fantastic place I came across qualities I never knew my friends had let alone my other classmates. A strong sense of belonging one that I had yet to come across overwhelmed me every time I saw my friends stick up for each other , whether that friend was sick or sad. Loyalties peaked when the snake questioned the integrity of one of my friend’s actions. Wow…. If Gandhi had seen our non cooperation movement he would have been proud indeed. But the best part of the night was celebrating with breezers (my first time and I’m not hesitant to say this but I actually enjoyed them).
The surprise party for achala was a success. She had absolutely no clue. But the highlight of that night was watching a couple of my friends completely sloshed. The truth does come out at the most unexpected turns. That night as I watched my friend whom I had always considered perfect cry silently when some one mentioned some thing ( it’s too personal to disclose ) I realized that the outer façade is indeed deceptive in most cases. And also that it’s not just my life that’s screwed up big time.
All in all it was a fantastic experience. Not only because of the place but because of all that I learnt and saw and learnt to see.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
aami bangali !!!!
keeping in theme with the current movie flavour ( case in point: the namesake and the bong connection) i thought i too would try to explore my roots too. p.s. this is no desertion or study about the movies, that i'll have to leave for another day. today i want to try and figure out two very basic questions," who am i" and "where do i belong".
i always thought that the answers to the afore mentioned questions were very simple. i am an indian and i belong to india. but with an increasing astonishment i have come to see that it's not enough. the fact that i am a bangali is so ingrained in my identity that i have seen it very often take precedence over the fact that i am an indian.
albeit i am a second generation bangalorean born in libya yet bangalore is not as far from kolkata as boston so why do i feel so alienated in my own ancestral city.
evrything from the language to the culture is as alien to me as to gogol ganguly. it's not that i have never been to kolkata ( or as i'd rather call it calcutta and no that's not a colonial hangup it's just that i happen to think that the name gave it that balance) infact i visit it almost once a year and all my relatives live there. it's just that i have grown up among migrant bangalis who created their own kolkata here far away from home ( remember that the telecom revolution took place in the late nineties and in the sixties Bangalore seemed a far away from kolkata as maybe Beijing). it was a new world , small compared to the cal of then , with sour food, quite people who slept at 8pm and as my mother likes to say , the kind of weather which made u forget that fans existed...... it was unheard of, absurd. yet they survived and brought up their childen as best as they could remember their parents bringing them up. they had their pujos and poites. their mukhebhaths and momos. and not very seldom their rabindra sangeet.
so i won't say i am a i.b.c.b.... try to guess that but what i would say is that i am an bangalorean bangali who before everything else is an indian from india.
"jai hind"
i always thought that the answers to the afore mentioned questions were very simple. i am an indian and i belong to india. but with an increasing astonishment i have come to see that it's not enough. the fact that i am a bangali is so ingrained in my identity that i have seen it very often take precedence over the fact that i am an indian.
albeit i am a second generation bangalorean born in libya yet bangalore is not as far from kolkata as boston so why do i feel so alienated in my own ancestral city.
evrything from the language to the culture is as alien to me as to gogol ganguly. it's not that i have never been to kolkata ( or as i'd rather call it calcutta and no that's not a colonial hangup it's just that i happen to think that the name gave it that balance) infact i visit it almost once a year and all my relatives live there. it's just that i have grown up among migrant bangalis who created their own kolkata here far away from home ( remember that the telecom revolution took place in the late nineties and in the sixties Bangalore seemed a far away from kolkata as maybe Beijing). it was a new world , small compared to the cal of then , with sour food, quite people who slept at 8pm and as my mother likes to say , the kind of weather which made u forget that fans existed...... it was unheard of, absurd. yet they survived and brought up their childen as best as they could remember their parents bringing them up. they had their pujos and poites. their mukhebhaths and momos. and not very seldom their rabindra sangeet.
so i won't say i am a i.b.c.b.... try to guess that but what i would say is that i am an bangalorean bangali who before everything else is an indian from india.
"jai hind"
Saturday, June 30, 2007
june
since i have managed to post something every month i thought i should probably continue this ritual. thus this post on the last day of the month.it's been a pretty eventful month what with my starting my final year of college and believe it or not i am dreading my first foot steps out of the comfortable world that student's live in. plus with the promise of the next 10 months rushing as fast as the proposed metro services in Bangalore i am already feeling pangs of nostalgia for none other than my college ( sheesh who would believe it).
well to enumerate the occurrences of this month i have made this following list.
1) college reopened after what seemed like spending an eternity at home.
2) i was made math association secretary a post that should have gone to one of my closest friends. (p.s. if your are reading you know who you are)
3) for the first time since i started driving i was so nervous at the wheels that i started shaking and haven driven since.
4)i finally am comfortable and have found a good friend in some one i used to very snobbishly look down upon. i am sorry you know that i am right? u'll probably be one of the few people i will miss when i leave this college.
5)and most importantly i realised that as wrong as it is i still haven't gotten over someone. that some one doesn't know and he probably won't ever know plus i don't even want him to know but given the overdose of romantic novels that i have it wouldn't be a mistake to hope. just hope that someday he knows.
well to enumerate the occurrences of this month i have made this following list.
1) college reopened after what seemed like spending an eternity at home.
2) i was made math association secretary a post that should have gone to one of my closest friends. (p.s. if your are reading you know who you are)
3) for the first time since i started driving i was so nervous at the wheels that i started shaking and haven driven since.
4)i finally am comfortable and have found a good friend in some one i used to very snobbishly look down upon. i am sorry you know that i am right? u'll probably be one of the few people i will miss when i leave this college.
5)and most importantly i realised that as wrong as it is i still haven't gotten over someone. that some one doesn't know and he probably won't ever know plus i don't even want him to know but given the overdose of romantic novels that i have it wouldn't be a mistake to hope. just hope that someday he knows.
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